It's always intriguing to watch how people interact with one another, checking out their "social skills" if you will. Although we're all unique in our methods of communication, we each possess people-pleasing tendencies that show through in our conversation, verbal and otherwise. Some would argue with this, attesting to the idea that they "roll their own way," don't care what others think, and just speak their minds wherever they go. There are, I suppose, those who do exhibit many such characteristics, but the title is still the same, just put into the singular: person-pleaser. Really though, when it comes down to it, though we might not want to admit it, people-pleasing is a game we play. Nobody wants to be hated, and everybody knows that saying whatever we feel like at any given moment will end up giving us that very response.
But this phrase, people-pleaser, has a very negative connotation in our culture seeing as how we pride ourselves so much in our (perceived) individuality and (supposed) ability to be whoever we want to be regardless of what others might think. There's a good side of this uniqueness of course. God hand-crafted each person to be different from every other in order that we might fulfill a specific niche in this world as part of His greater plan. To try and be someone else would betray that roll we've been given. But, viewed a certain way, there's also a very negative side to our individuality as we were not meant to be individualistic unto ourselves. We are to be who we are unto Another. Consider this excerpt from 1 Thessalonians 4:1-8: Finally, then, brothers, we ask and urge you in the Lord Jesus, that as you received from us how you ought to live and to please God, just as you are doing, that you do so more and more. For you know what instructions we gave you through the Lord Jesus. For this is the will of God, your sanctification...For God has not called us for impurity, but in holiness. Therefore whoever disregards this, disregards not man but God, who gives His Holy Spirit to you. There was a way that the Thessalonians were meant to live as new Christians, and this way coincided with pleasing God. The greatest way that they could glorify God was not to just "be themselves," but to live in such a way that they were aiming at God's pleasure in them. That sounds so simple, but I really wonder if I get it. I wonder how much I want to please others by showing them that I stick out as someone who looks like I'm really pleasing God. Tricky. What happens when I'm talking to someone more mature in the faith about spiritual things? Do I hope that I look more like a God-pleaser to them than I probably really am? And do I make sure I throw in enough humility talk so as to add to my projected piety? Been there, done that...hope I'm not doing it now.
But I think one of the things that we're to notice here is that there's something much more simple, something we're to focus on rather than the complicated masquerade we keep up. Verse 3: For this is the will of God, your sanctification. That is refreshingly beautiful to me. Read it again. God's desire for you and me is that we grow into thinking, looking, and acting more and more like Jesus; period. The instructions that Paul and his companions gave the Thessalonians were "in the Lord Jesus," and "through the Lord Jesus" (Vv. 1, 2). We are to become holy as our Savior is holy: resisting temptation, listening to our Father, practicing righteous authenticity. This of course has some implications, but again, even they aren't complicated. It logically follows that we must, for instance, know the way of sanctification as revealed in the Scriptures, we must know our Lord Jesus as presented throughout the Word of God, and we must be in continual communication with our Creator. Sanctification over a lifetime ultimately happens by God's grace alone, but it also doesn't "just happen."
This simple truth about God's will is such a comfort to me in these days in large part because I have many questions about the future and some significant frustration with my situation at present. I believe that God is calling me to something other than what I am doing, but He has yet to call me away from where I am. So just what is it that I need to know about His will for me right now? Sanctification. Growing in and conforming to the likeness of Christ. This gives me clarity for the day, knowing much of what I need to be focusing on/spending time doing, and patience for the future that is yet to be revealed.
But as much joy as this simple truth provides, Paul also adds considerable weight to it's meaning. After going through some examples of areas in which they were to pursue holiness, he makes sure that the Thessalonians put his words into practice with God motivation. Whoever disregards this, disregards not man but God. Any ignoring of the truth would put them into trouble with Paul, yes, but that wouldn't be their main problem. They would be disregarding God, as if they were pushing Him aside, taking their attention off of Him, and living with motivation elsewhere to other things. God is to be given full regard as the ultimate reason for everything the Christian does. He is the Author of the truth that we are called to walk in and the One who sanctifies us through the power of the Holy Spirit in our lives. My sanctification involves regarding God at every moment, with Him as my motivation. This is weighty, incredibly intimate, and causes me to fear the Lord in a whole new way. I know that I must have Him and be intensely near Him, but I feel so unholy. Praise Him, praise Him for Jesus, my sweet righteousness! Incredible.
Awesome Lord God, help me to regard You in all things. Be my motivation in sanctification. Purify my heart. Thank-you for Jesus. In His name, Amen.
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