God Motivation and Parenting

Last night some friends of ours came over for a post-Christmas reunion since they were in town visiting family for the holidays. They were two of my buddies from high school, only now we all have growing families and can enjoy rich (though infrequent) times together with our wives and children. Concerning our kids, we led the way with our now 3 1/2 year old, were quickly overtaken by the Eastmans who managed two at a time (we've since tied with them), and will soon be joined by the Holmans who are only about a month away from entering full-fledged parenthood. Being soon to enter this phase of life, they asked over supper for advice about some of the ins and outs of parenting, specifically the topic of discipline. Following are some thoughts both from that conversation and considerations since then.

One thing that has become clearer and clearer to me over our short time of parenting is that we carry a great responsibility in showing our children what God looks like. Yes, we tell them about Him before they can even speak or comprehend, take them to church, and read them Bible stories, but this is not enough. There is a way in which children will find out about the character and nature of God through the conduct of their parents. First off, Christians in general are called to be "imitators of God" (Eph. 5:1), intimating that the way we live should do something to reflect Him to those observing us. For the Christian parent, children are at the top of this list of observers. But they are more than just onlookers; they are our little people that require a lot of hands-on interaction, direction, and discipline. An example (although indirect) of God-imitation before our children is given in Hebrews 12:10. [Our fathers] disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them, but [God] disciplines us for our good, that we might share in His holiness. Even without being God motivated in doing so, parents know to discipline their children in such a way that they hope will accomplish something good in their lives. This is a form of what God does, or to say it another way: He provides the example for how we are to give discipline. As Christians, we can go beyond just "what seems best to us" and instead look at God's design of working for our good and bringing us to increasing holiness. The question then becomes, "How can I discipline my children in such a way that they will have as clear a picture as possible of what their God looks like, that they might know His goodness toward them and be ready to walk in holiness before Him?" A roadblock that we would prefer our children not have to overcome later in life is the one of having to rethink in great measure what their heavenly Father looks like. Because of His grace, such obstacles can be overcome (and always must be overcome in some measure!), but this puts them one step farther away from living a life fully devoted to and undistracted from the King. It should be the aim of God motivated parents to prepare their kids to be God motivated children.

Where to start? Good parental discipline requires good doctrine. We must know well the God who has from the beginning been interacting with the children that He has created. We have thousands of years worth of records and a universal church that has been entrusted with them, seeking to abide by the instructions therein. We have been given the Holy Spirit as a Guide who is forever influencing our lives toward increasing God motivation. To say it plainly, we have been profoundly resourced. We will find when we probe these resources that we should exhibit a consistent wisely loving character, be extremely available with great compassion when our young ones humbly cry out to us, and be spanking our kids straight into the future God has designed for them...and much, much more, all the while fully entrusting them to the Father.

Perfect heavenly Father, please give us wisdom in raising those that You have placed in our care. Be our motivation in doing this that You might also become the same for them. In the name of Jesus who unites us to You, Amen.